why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
