ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
