See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
