around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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