He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
