he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
