Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
What drink are we having for lunch?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
True strength comes from lack of pants
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
