i will never coherently bang her
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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