Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
