i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I need water and some morals
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
