Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
if only i could text you this smell
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
