Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
