I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
its not stalking. its research.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
