you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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