"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
