He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
