I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
