She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
