I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
