she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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