I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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