Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Did we literally take a cab across the street
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
