It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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