Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
