so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
