I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
