i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
