I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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