at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
