Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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