Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
