Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
