Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
my being single is dangerous.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
