drunk tastebuds have low standards.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
