What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
