Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
