One girl and one boy is just not enough.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
