At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
