we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
