Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
