Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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