Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
