my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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