Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
