Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
