I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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