# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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