The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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