There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
