Is it normal to miss your booty call?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
