I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
