So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
