When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
