Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm at about main and main street
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
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