He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
